You're the one who makes me feel invincible, yet you're the only one who has the power to completely destroy me.

Gahhhhh, it's been over a month since I've used blogger.
I'm sorry. I blame it on Tumblr.

"I'm not perfect".


But wait, what exactly is perfect? Why do we strive to achieve something that we all know ceases from existence? Every person’s view on ‘perfection’ is altered in one way or another. Why are we not willing to make mistakes, letting loose and just having fun?
As far as I’m concerened, trying to achieve ‘perfection’, is a pointless, impossible road, that leads to no where, with no ending whatsoever.

I did the unthinkable, I crossed over to the dark side, I made a tumblr :O
Haha. Follow me:

http://www.fuckyeahemilysworld.tumblr.com/

TEN HOWS.

1. How did you get one of your scars?
I don't have scars.

2. How did you celebrate your last birthday?
With my friends, eating KFC's potato and gravy all day, as it was the day after I got my braces.

4. How did your night go last night?
Finally caught up on the rest of Vampire Diaries, it was amazing.
...Where was question 3? :S

5. How did you do in high school?
I'm doing quite fine.

6. How did you get the shirt you’re wearing?
I bought it? :S

7. How often do you see your best friend?
Often.

8. How much money did you spend last month?
No idea.

9. How old do you want to be when you get married?
Aroundish 25-30ish

10. How old will you be at your next birthday?
15.

NINE WHATS.
1. What’s your mother’s name?
Tina.

2. What did you do last weekend?
Shopping :D

3. What is the most important part of your life?
Relationships, Friendships, Nick Jonas, Vampire Diaries :P

4. What would you rather be doing?
Sleeping...

5. What did you last cry over?
Erm...

6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?
Awesome people.

7. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other?
Hmm...

8. What are you worried about?
Too many things...

9. What did you eat for breakfast?
Rice bubbles :D

EIGHT HAVE YOUS.
1. Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Not that I can remember...

2. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Meh, not really...

3. Have you ever been out of the country?
Yeeeeeeeeeap

4. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
Haha, yes.

5. Have you ever been backstabbed by a friend?
Probably, but not that I'm currently aware of.

6. Have you ever had sex on the beach?
Not yet ;)

7. Have you ever dated someone younger than you?
Nope.

8. Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
Yes, surprisingly for me. :D

SEVEN WHOS.
1. Who was the last person you saw?
My brother/mother.

2. Who was the last person you texted?
Clark.

3. Who was the last person you hung out with?
Sophie

4. Who was the last person to call you?
Mum :D

5. Who did you last hug?
I think Matthew and Clark on the last day of term?

6. Who is the last person who texted you?
Clark.

7. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?
Matthew. Tehee.

SIX WHERES.
1. Where does your best friend live?
Around.

2. Where did you last go?
Moone Ponds, Puckle Street

3. Where did you last hang out?
Melbourne Central

4. Where do you go to school?
In Taylors Lakes

5. Where is your favourite place to be?
School, sometimes.

6. Where did you sleep last night?
In a forrest... -.-

FIVE DOS.
1. Do you like someone right now?
Kind of...

2. Do you think anyone likes you?
Maybe... Tehee. >;)

3. Do you ever wish you were someone else?
Yeah, quite a lot.

4. Do you know the muffin man?
Yeah. Lives a few houses away from me.

5. Does the future scare you?
I'm shit scared for the future...

FOUR WHYS.
1. Why are you best friends with your best friend?
Cos...

2. Why did you get a Tumblr?
Cos...

3. Why did your parents give you the name you have?
I don't know, ask them

4. Why are you doing this survey?
Because I like surveys :D

THREE IFS.
1. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
The ability to read minds, teleportation, invisiblity, force fields, to heal quickly. :D

2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?
Yeah probably.

3. If you were stranded on a deserted island & you could only bring one thing, what would you bring?
Cool people :D

TWO WOULD YOU EVERS.
1. Would you ever get back with one of your ex’s if they asked you?
I don’t have any ex’s.

2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?
Yes, of course. As much as I would die on the inside :'(

ONE LAST QUESTION.
1. Are you happy with your life right now?
Reasonably happy.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

:| WTFS WRONG WITH YOUR FACE, WOMAN.

2. How much cash do you have on you?
$10. Aren't I rich?

3. What’s a word that rhymes with “DOOR?”
Poor.

4. Favorite planet?
Pluto :D

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Mummie

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
LOL, "The phone is ringing, phone is ringing, the phone is absoloutly way way RINGING!!!!!" It's from a JONAS episode ;D

7. What shirt are you wearing?
Floral Tee :)

8. Do you “label” yourself?
Sometimes...

9. Name the brand of your shoes you’re currently wearing?
I am wearing stockings :D

10. Bright or Dark Room?
It depends...

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
PWOAH BESTEST BUDDIE WEEEEEEEW

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sleeping (A)

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
"Let's do something today!"

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
St. Albans / Keilor Downs area.

16. What’s a word that you say a lot?
FERRAL!

17.Who told you he/she loved you last?
Matthew. Lol. Litterally like 10 seconds ago. Tehee.

18. Last furry thing you touched?
LOL :S

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
None

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
None

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
Undecided

22. Your worst enemy?
No one. (A).

23. What is your current desktop picture?
Nick Jonas.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
KEVIN GET OUT OF MY ROOM -.-

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
Money!

26. Do you like someone?
Errr... Kind of?

I'm loving the sun!
Welcome back sun, I missed you!
Can not wait for summer! :D

Yes, I know I'm albino... shut up -.-

I miss you! D;

Thank god it's starting to get hotter! :D

Holidays are boring! :)
But I like holidays, so it's okay.

Wtf. I keep having dreams about you! >;)

Meet my penguin, Ping! :D

Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
1. UGH I HATE YOU. TWO FACED WHORE.
2. I'm sorry. I really am.
3. Words can not describe how I feel about you. 
4. There's not a day that you don't cross my mind.
5. K.
6. Thanks for wasting my life.
7. I miss you. A lot.
8. You kind of make me happy.
9. Fuck off.
10. I love you

Nine things about yourself.
1. I constantly run into doors and walls.
2. I smile and laugh at things that aren't even funny.
3. I give trust too easily.
4. If I wanted to, I could wear dresses every day for the rest of my life.
5. I could listen to Taylor Swift music over and over and not ever get sick of it.
6. Writing makes me feel better. I love writing.
7. I'm too observative. I notice things that no one else does.
8. I talk to my dad about things that I should talk about to my mum.
9. I'm going to marry Nick Jonas someday, just you wait.

Eight ways to win your heart.
1. Letters. I love letters.
2. Hand-written letters.
3. Songs/Lyrics/Poems etc, written to/about me. *Giggles*.
4. An amazing fashion sense.
5. Surprises.
6. Commitment, no lieing, or breaking promises.
7. 'Good morning, beautiful' ,'Good night, sweet dreams' etc. text messages. Awww.
8. Having the guts to tell me that you love me.

Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
1. Someone.
2. The future.
3. The past.
4. Specific individuals.
5. Jonas.
6. I'm never good enough.
7. Someone.

Six things you wish you’d never done.
1. Going each day which I did, not talking to you. I feel like I wasted each and every one of those days. I want to talk to you, but when I try, I shut down and get all shy. I hate it.
2. I wish I never thought that I wasn't 'good enough', or 'pretty enough', for this one particular person. It effected my self-esteem and self-confidence so much. After all, it wasn't those reasons why he was interested in her, instead of me. Oh well, we're still awesome friends to this day.
3. I wish I had never met you. :) ... Wait, no. Meeting you, and dealing with your shit, only made me stronger. That's a good thing.
4. Signing up for facebook. LOL.
5. I never walked into all those damn doors. (As suggested by Matthew)
6. ... Everything happens for a reason.

Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
1. Sophie.
2. Nick Jonas.
3. AmyStephTianaJamieeShantel
4. Matthew
5. You.

Four turn offs.
1. Ugh. When guys spit on the floor. Eww.
2. Disrespect.
3. Potty mouths!
4. Thongs or crocks.

Three turn ons.
1. If you can play guitar.
2. Green eyes. But bright blue eyes are also damn fine.
3. If you have an attractive face, hair, and you can dress well. Pwoah. ;)

Two smileys that describe your life right now.
1. :D :D :D hehehe
2. |-)

One confession
1. I feel like I don't belong, way too often.

so, um, tehee, there's this kid, and he makes me smile. :)
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew.

"Love makes time pass, and time makes love pass."

Happy Birthday Jeffrey, Stephanie, and Tiana <3

Ugh, I'm in the most strangest mood. I seriously can not be fucked with anything, and with anyone. Ugh.

So, you see, the thing is, I never actually forgave you in the first place...

"Friends are like potatos, if you eat them, they die."

I removed the phone from my ear, placed my thumb on the red button, and just as I was about to press it, I heard on the other line ‘I love you.’



I pushed the button with as much force I could use. I continually pressed it, over and over, as if it would make everything better. I wanted the pain to go away, but it didn’t. I felt so many different emotions at once. I couldn’t contain it. I just bursted into tears.

FINALLY I am updating my Nick Jonas FanFic!
I've promise too many people. Haha.
But yay, it feels good to write again. :D

Fuck yes! Holidays for the win!

I couldn't help but feel a little satisfaction and enjoyment while you were gone.

You see, the thing is, I never actually forgave you.

Today I found out that Sophie Wong is the only person left in the world that I can trust anymore.

Eff yous allllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJaHHC95OPc

Happy Birthday Dearest Jamiee.

My fictional smiles seem to have you fooled by the fact that I'm slowly dieing away.
... Good.

You broke your promise. Again. Good job!

I don't know what to do anymore.

You asked for your second chance. You got your second chance. Now it's too late.

TRUST NO ONE

The holidays are what I need right now.
I can not wait any longer.

I need a break from everyone, from everything, and start up again fresh.

Ugh. And after all these years, I still feel like I'm not as important as you all. I'm still being kept from things. And lied to. Ugh. It just gets me so frustrated.

And you know what hurts most? The fact that I have to walk around with a fictional smile on my face, and pretend that everything's okay, and that "I'm fine". Well fuck this. Because faking my happiness is destroying me.

Haha you kind of make me happy :D
Tehee.

So, you're just making things worse.
Blaaaaaaaaaaaah! I hate you! Go die!

There's not a day that goes by, that I don't miss you, Gina.
I love you.

I kind of die a little inside when I realise I wasted a day not talking to you.

I'm sick of being the one having to make all the effort.

Taylor Swift - Teardrops on my guitar.

Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
What I want and I need
And everything that we should be

I'll bet she's beautiful
That girl he talks about
And she's got everything
That I have to live without

Drew talks to me
I laugh 'cause it's just so funny
I can't even see
Anyone when he's with me

He says he's so in love
He's finally got it right
I wonder if he knows
He's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

Drew walks by me
Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She better hold him tight
Give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes
And know she's lucky 'cause

 He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

So I drive home alone
As I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down
And maybe get some sleep tonight

'Cuz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

He's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into
Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see

And she's got everything that I have to live without.

"I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi to me, or even smile, because I know, even if it's just for a second, I crossed your mind."

Hehehe. You make me giggle. :D

I love the fact that just your simple smile makes my entire day.

You don't know how much you mean to me.

Today I took the day off school, because seriously could not be bothered with 2 periods of sport, chapel, divinity and then acs.
This is what I did instead:

Oh and by the way, say hello to my new fringe!

INFUCKINGCEPTION.

I think this picture perfectly describes everyone's reaction towards the end of such a great movie.

And yet, I find myself forgiving you once again.
*sigh

Alright, rule number one. Never EVER under estimate my ability to find out things.


Let me remind you of one of my previos blogs:

Here we are, Wednesday, August 11, 4 days later, and you've already fucked up.

Good job (Y)

Eww Eww Eww
I'm really dreading going back to school after a focus week.
Ewwwwwwwwww.

HEY YOU! Yeah you, remember me?
Yeah I kinda miss you.

Matthew Nguyen is my best friend :)
Or atleast, ONE of my best friends.

Anyway, I've given up on you. You're not making things any easier. In fact you're making things worse. Yeah, I don't want you in my life anymore, not if you're just going to make things hard for me.

I love how the hatred of one person can bring so many other people together.

Tonight I had quite a good cry.
And tonight also proves the reasons why I do not love the ones, that I'm supposed to love.

Sorry for the blogging overload!

I promised my anonymous formspringer that I would actually start to blog again.
Speaking of formspring, www.formspring.me/musicismyescape, go go go!

Anyway, dearest anonymous fomspringer,
Ha, I gotta say thanks. I now remember why I loved blogging so much, and yeahhhhhhhhh I've vented so much and I feel much better. So thanks! :)
I hope I find out who you are, by the way. It really means a whole lot that you; 1. read my blog. 2. care enough to ask me about it on my formspring! ahaha :)

Pain is what makes us stronger. It forces us to grow.

Do you just not realise how attractive you are?!
;)

Do you just not grasp the concept that you have lost my trust, and friendship? And that because of your actions, you've lost the friendship of others. Also, you've gained a bad reputation for yourself, and those who do not know you, are judging you, and have a disliking towards you, based purely on the actions you've shown towards me.
Have a good life, bitch.
You'd better be ready for the shit that you've asked for.

How about you go jump off a cliff?
Yeaaaaaaaaaah that would be great. Look at the chaos you've created. Your reputation, what reputation? How about the people that you've hurt. And those who have hurt you.
And all for what? So you could seek 'revenge'? Oh grow up, please.

Here's a second chance. Cherish it. You're not going to get another one.

The hatred I have towards you is simply unexplainable!

Why don't you just go marry her?
You seem to like her better, anyway.

Eff you!

Why don't you just go marry her?
You seem to like her better, anyway.

Eff you!

It's amazing how oblivious you are towards my feelings.
Eff you and your stupid promises that you never keep.

But why, why do I always find myself forgiving you?

The worst feeling there is possible is knowing that the one you love, loves someone else.

Hi bloggers. Well, the ones who have actually remained on blogger, and havn't yet reverted to tumblr.
Anyway, I apologise for my absence, once again! I've been extremely busy lately and honestly I couldn't be bothered signing in...
Anyway, I have A LOT to write about, but not enough time. And I'm also quite tired at the current moment.

I shall blog soon, x. :)

Dude, SNAP OUT OF IT.

TODAY I FOUND MY CAMP ROCK DVD AFTER IT BEING LOST FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I just thought I'd mark it on my blogger, as it's quite an important thing.

Emily;

Bold is true.
(Stolen from Amys Tumblr) >:)

your boy side
you love hoodies.
you love jeans.
dogs are better than cats.
it’s hilarious when people get hurt.
shopping is torture.
sad movies suck.
you own a car racing game.
you played with hot wheels cars as a kid.
at some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
you used to be obsessed with power rangers.
you have watched sports on tv.
gory movies are cool.
you go to your dad for advice.
you own like a trillion baseball caps.
you used to collect hockey cards.
baggy sweats are cool to wear.
it’s kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors or all.
you love to go crazy and not care what people think.
sports are fun.
you talk with food in your mouth
you sleep with your socks on at night
you have fished at least once.

your girl side
you love to shop.
you wear eyeliner.
you wear the color pink.
you go to your mom to talk.
you consider cheerleading a sport.
you hate wearing the color black.
you like going to the mall.
you like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
you like wearing jewelry.
you cried watching the notebook
skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
you don’t like the movie star wars.
you are/were in gymnastics.
it takes you at least one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
you smile a lot more than you should.
you have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
you care about what you look like.
you like wearing dresses when you can.
you like wearing high heel shoes.
you used to play with dolls as little kid.
you like putting make-up on others.
you like being the star of everything.
pink is one of your favorite colors.

appearance
i am shorter than 5’2
i have a scar
i tan/burn easily
i wish my hair was a different color.
i have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
i have a tattoo.
i am self-conscious about my appearance.
i’ve had/have braces.
i’ve been told i’m attractive by a complete stranger.
i have more than two piercings.
i have / had piercings in places besides my ears.

embarrassment
i’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
disney movies still make me cry.
i’ve laughed so hard i’ve cried.
i’ve glued my hand to something
i’ve laughed ’til some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
i’ve had my pants rip in public.

health
i’ve gotten stitches.
i’ve had my appendix removed.
i’ve sat in a doctor’s office with a friend.
i’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
i’ve had a serious surgery.
i’ve had chicken pox.

experiences
i’ve gotten lost in my city.
i’ve seen a shooting star.
i’ve wished on a shooting star.
i’ve seen a meteor shower.
i’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
i’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
i’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
i’ve been to a casino.
i’ve been skydiving.
i’ve gone skinny-dipping.
i’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
i’ve crashed/rolled a car.
i’ve been skiing.
i’ve been in a musical.
i’ve caught a snowflake or snow on my tongue.
i’ve seen the northern lights.
i’ve sat on a rooftop at night.
i’ve played a prank on someone.
i’ve ridden in a taxi.
i’ve seen the rocky horror picture show.
i’ve eaten sushi.
i’ve been snowboarding.

relationships
i’m single.
i’m in a relationship.
i’m engaged.
i’m married.
i miss someone right now.
i’ve gotten divorced.
i’ve told someone i loved them when i didn’t.
i’ve told someone i didn’t love them when i did.

honesty / crime
i’ve done something i promised someone else i wouldn’t.
i’ve done something i promised myself i wouldn’t.
i’ve snuck out.
i’ve lied to my parents about where i am.
i’ve cheated while playing a game.
i’ve ran a red light
i’ve been in a fist fight.
i’ve been arrested.

death and suicide
i’m afraid of dying.
i hate funerals.
i’ve seen someone / something dying.
someone close to me has attempted / committed suicide.
you have planned your own suicide.
i’ve written a eulogy for myself.

materialism
i own over 5 rap cd’s.
i have an unhealthy obsession with anime / manga.
i own designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
i own something from pac sun.
i own something from the gap.
i own something i got on e-bay.
i own something from abercrombie.

random
i can sing well.
stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
open up to others easily.
i watch the news.
i don’t kill bugs.
i sing in the shower.
i am a morning person.
i paid for my cell phone ring tone.
i am a sports fanatic.
i twirl my hair.
i care about grammar.
i have “?”’s in my screen name.
i love spam.
i’ve copied more than 30 cd’s in a day.
i bake well.
my favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red, blue, black, purple, or orange.
i would wear pajamas to school.
i like martha stewart.
i know how to shoot a gun.
i am guilty of typing LiKe tHiS.
i laugh at my own jokes.
i eat fast food weekly.
i’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
i can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
i am really ticklish.
i like white chocolate.
i bite my nails.
i’m good at remembering faces.
i’m good at remembering names.
i’m good at remembering dates.
i honestly have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.

Blogging over-load to make up for my weeks, possibly months of absence.

I want to be the one that makes you smile.
... But it seems as if you've already got someone to keep you smiling.

... This sucks.

Yeah how about you fuck off and leave me alone.

I've gotta say that Eclipse is by far the best 'Twilight Saga' movie yet.
Can not wait for Breaking Dawn.

YOU'RE PATHETIC.
You're lies, and twistings of stories just disgust me.
And the fact that you continue to lie, when I already know the truth.

Just fuck off already.

Gotta love Melbourne weather.
I'm sick of how bloody cold it is.

I apologise for forgetting about my blogger.

I do not have the strength nor patience to carry on listening to your patheic lies and excuses anymore.

I didn't know something so simple, and innocent, could turn out to be something tearing me apart inside.

EW"tjgFLI'ANGSOHlknwrgadhoipwljgsoeiuraq;hgvohireaei'i wtae'pojdfvo reaksl;djgfn

GAAAAAAAAAAH.

Sorry, I had to take out my anger on the Keyboard.
It works.

EFFFFFFFFFFFF THIS SHITTTTTT

Failure is the only word I can use to describe myself.

Dad: "I'm gonna get an iPad".

Emily: "... Dad, you wouldn't even know how to turn it on...".
Dad: "I don't give a fuck if I don't know how to turn it on. I just want one to be able to say to others 'I've got an iPad, and it's sitting in my room with my iPod', and because I've been so behind in technology and I want to be infront for once".
Emily: "lol, alright".
Dad: "What's lol?"
Emily: "Oh god... Dad, you're never going to be infront of technology, EVEN if you have an iPad"
Dad: ... "I'm Shattered"
Emily: ... "You only said that because I say it..."
Dad: "See? I WILL be able to catch up with the modern world".
Emily: "Rofl"
Dad: "Rofl?"

I'm loving We The Kings at the moment!!!!!!!!!
Try them out sometime, you won't be disapointed.

Currently playing: Check Yes Juliet.

There is no garentee,
That this life is easy.

When my world is falling apart,
And there's no light to break up the dark,
That's when I, I look at you.
When the waves are flooding the shore,
And I can't find my way home anymore,
That's when I, I look at you.

The silence isn't so bad,
'Till I look at my hands and feel sad,
'Cause the spaces between my fingers, are right where yours fit perfectly.

Today I found my psp :D
The last time I saw it was when I was a fith grader.

I just gotta connect it to the internet now. :)

Shieeeeeeeeeeeet! I fucked up the wiring in my braces! :|
Don't ask how I did that, embarrasing story.
Lucky I have an appointment on Tuesday though...

I am actually quite terrified of these exams comming up.

Why is it that we are always hungry for more? And never satisfied with what we have?
Why aren't we ever happy with what we already have? And want more instead?
Why do we take the littlest things for granted, and envy what others have possesion of?
Why do we fight for the things that we think will make us happy, instead of being happy with what we have?
Why am I not happy with myself? And want what I know that I can not have?

It's now the first time in a while that I feel truely happy. I hope this amazing feeling doesn't go away. I need it to survive.

What has happened to me?

You've got a face for a smile, you know
A shame you waste it when you're breaking me slowly
But I've got a world of chances for you
I've got a world of chances for you
I've got a world of chances, chances that you're burning though

I've got a paper and pen
I go to write goodbye, and that's when I know
I've got a world of chances for you
I've got a world of chances for you
I've got a world of chances, chances that you're burning through

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!

(It makes sense if you've heard the song.)

Your childish ways don't fool me anymore.
You're driving me insane.
But I still need you.

I can almost see it,
That dream I'm dreamin',
But there's a voice in side of my head sayin',
You'll never reach it.
Every step I'm taking it,
Every move I make feels,
Lost with no direction,
My faith is shaking.

But I,
I gotta keep tryin'
Gotta keep my head held high.

There's always gonna be another mountain,
I'm always gonna wanna make it move,
Always gonna be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose.
Aint about how fast I get there,
Aint about what's waiting on the other side,
It's the climb.

I like school now. People who love me are always there. People who I love attend school, and are always within my reach when I need them. School is cool.

I miss you. :)

I like it when you smile.
It makes me smile.
And makes me feel better.
Please smile more often.

The feeling of betrayal is somewhat better then being lied to your face, especially when the lier is telling you stories to which you already know the whole truth to.

You are strong.
You just need to learn to convince yourself that fact, and block out all the bad things.

Will you be there? Forever?

I'm starting to feel like I belong.

Things are getting better. :)
I like when things go my way.

I like the fact that I can't walk past you without smiling to myself :)

I think I like you. Smiley face. :)

happy mothers day, to all you mothers out there.

Happy Anniversery to my Mummy and Daddy.

I like you. A whole lot more then what I orginally planned.

Do you have any pets?
No.

What color shirt are you wearing?
Purple.

Name three things that are physically close to you:
Latop, remote, TV.

What is the last book you read?
Probs my Lit Circles book.

Are you or were you a good student?
I believe so.

What's your favorite sport?
I like to swim.

Do you enjoy sleeping late?
Meh

What's the weather like right now?
Nice

Who tells the best jokes?
Ashlee and Sophie are the people that make me laugh the most.

What was the last thing you dreamed about?
A boy that I've had my eye on. :S

Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
No.

Do you believe in karma?
Yes.

Do you believe in luck?
Yes.

Do you like your eggs scrambled or sunny side up?
Meh.

Do you collect anything? If so, what?
No. I used to collect buttons though.

Are you proud of yourself? Sure.

Are you reliable?
I guess.

Have you ever given money to a bum?
Yes.

What's your favorite food?
There's too many.

Have you ever had a secret admirer?
Yes.

Do you like the smell of gasoline?
No.

Do like to draw?
Sure.

What's your favorite invention?
Meh.

Is your room messy?
It's never clean.

What do you like better: oranges or apples?
Oranges.

Do you give in easily?
Yes.

Are you a good guesser?
Sure.

Can you read other people's expressions?
Sometimes. And only if I know them well.

Are you a bully?
Nah.

Do you have a job?
Nope.

What time did you wake up this morning?
8:44am.

What did you eat for breakfast this morning?
Havn't had breakfast yet. But I'll have pancakes.

When was the last time you showered?
Yesterday.

What do you plan on doing tomorrow?
Stay home.

What's your favorite day of the week and why?
Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Those days all seem to be free-er.

Do you have any nicknames?
Nah. But people call me 'Em'.

Have you ever been scuba diving?
Nope. Want to though.

What's your least favorite color?
Brown. I don't like un-fun/un-bright colors.

Is there someone you have been constantly thinking about? If yes, who?
Yes, can't say.

Would you ever go skydiving?
Possibly.

What toothpaste do you use?
Colgate.

Do you enjoy challenges?
They're okay.

What's the worst injury you have had?
I broke my foot once.

What's the last movie you saw?
At the actual cinema - The Spy Next Door.

What do you want to know about the future?
Will I be happier then I am now?

What does your last text message say?
Mum  - Get the clothes off the clothesline.

Who was the last person you spoke over the phone to?
Daddy - Wishing him a happy birthday.

What's your favorite school subject?
I don't have a favourite subject as such, but I quite like writing.

What's your least favorite school subject?
Divinity.

Would you rather have money or love?
Love.

What is your dream vacation?
The whole world.

What is your favorite animal?
Giraffes, Elephants and Turtles.

Do you miss anyone right now?
Yes. Terribly.

What's the last sporting event you watched?
Live? Meh. Don't remember.

Do you need to do laundry?
YES.

Do you listen to the radio?
Sometimes.

Where were you when 9/11 happened?
At home.

What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
They've never stole my money.

Have you ever caught a butterfly?
Yes.

What color are your bed sheets?
Purple/Pink/Floral Patterns.

What's your ringtone?
Lol.

Who was the last person to make you laugh?
There's a few.

Do you have any obsessions right now?
Yes.

Do you like things that glow in the dark?
Yeap.

What's your favorite fruity scent?
Strawberry, Watermelon and Lemon smells real nice and refreshing, sometimes.

Do you watch cartoons?
I am right now.

Have you ever sat on a roof?
Yeap.

Have you ever been to a different country?
Yes.

Name three things in the world you dislike:
Poverty, Unfairness, Selfish bitches.

Name three people in the world you dislike:
1. (insert name here).
2. (insert name here).
3. (insert name here).

Has a rumor even been spread about you?
Fo sure.

Do you like sushi?
It's nice.

Do you believe in magic?
Yes. I've always wanted to attend 'Hogwarts', though I don't believe in the magic that consists of the 'Harry Potter' series.

Do you hold grudges?
Yesm.

If you could live in any other place, where & why?
America. I've always wanted to live there.

What animal best represents you & why?
Not sure.

What is the craziest thing you ever did?
There's a few. Most of them involve Sophie.

If you could meet anyone, who would it be & why?
Nick Jonas, because DUH. 

If you could go back in time & live in any decade, which would it be & why?
1800's would be interesting.

If you could have any superpower what would it be?
Invisibility.

Whos is your ultimate celebrity crush?
Duh. Nick Jonas.

What color best represents you?
Red or Purple.

What would your life's theme song be?
There would be a few.

Who would you cast to play you in a movie?
...

What celebrity best represents your vision of fashion?
I always seem to like what Ashlee Tisdale wears...

What would your life movie be called?
The Chornicles of Emily

What is the greatest music video of all time?
Oh gosh, there's a lot.
Telephone - Lady Gaga feat. Beyonce is pretty awesome.

If you could star in any t.v. show, which one would it be?
I'd be Macy in JONAS.

What vehicle best represents you?
Don't know.

If you could bring back 1 famous person from the dead for a day, who & why?
Michael Jackson, simply because he passed too early. He had so much left to share with the world.

If you became president, what would you do first?
Have a party. Haha, I don't know.

If you got one tattoo, what would it be?
I wrote the answer on the survey under this one.

If you were on MTV's Made, what would you ask to be?
?

Who do you think is the hottest athlete?
Hehe, if Taylor Lautner counts as an athlete...

Who do you think is the hottest actor/actress?
Haha there's a few.

Who do you think is the hottest musician/singer/rapper?
Jonas. Duh.

Who do you think is the hottest t.v. reality star?
No idea.

What sport best represents you & why?
I don't understand how a animal, or a color, or a car, or a sport can represent you...

What is your most missed memory of childhood?
Not having a care in the world.

What is your greatest accomplishment?
Staying committed all these years.

Do you have a wireless keyboard and mouse?

Yes

Last sporting event you watched on tv or in person?
The footy

Who makes the best fudge?
Dominos.

Do you like it when toothpaste bubbles in your mouth?
Meh

Do you believe that the world is gonna end at 2012?
No

How many songs are on your iPod or MP3 Player?
Ceebs checking

Have you ever made your own survey?
No

Can you swear inside your house?
Ye

Do you save Bed Bath and Beyond coupons?
What?

Have you ever had a pet goldfish?
Yes

When did you last eat waffles?
3 Weeks ago

What is the most overrated thing in your opinion?
Not sure.

Do you have a video Skype account?
Yes

What color is your bed comforter?
Wtfs a 'bed comforter'?

Does being in love make you gain weight?
Umm, no?

Dumbest person you know? and why?
Lol. Ashlee, she's not dumb, she just has a looooooooooot of blonde moments. But I love her dearly.

Do your parents have home videos of you as a kid?
Yes

How old is your oldest cousin?
I've never met him

If you HAD to get a tattoo, where and what would it be?
I'm not emo, but I think having scissors and a ' - - - - - - - cut here' thing along my wrist would be pretty cool.

Do you think Obama has tried drugs?
Possibly

What color is your bra or boxers?
Black

What is your favorite radio station?
Nova

What brand is your refrigerator?
Wirlpool I think

How many people do you know that are pregnant?
None. But my aunty just had a baby about 3 weeks ago

Do you have a picture with your middle finger up?
Nah. That shit's filthy

When is the last time you went to a birthday party?
Not long ago

What is the best thing to happen to you this year so far?
Starting Canowindra

How long have you lived in the house you live in?
12 years

Do you read a newspaper daily?
Nope

Anything you're really afraid of?
Only loosing the one's that I need.

Do you read tabloids?
No?

Have you ever had a really bad haircut?
Yes :|

Do you like your peanut butter crunchy or creamy?
Don't eat peanut butter

What is the scariest movie you've ever seen?
I don't watch scary movies

Have you ever ridden a skateboard?
Yes

Do you drink enough water on a daily basis?
No

Would you burn the American flag for a million dollars?
No

The main thing you cant leave your house without?
My phone

Do you think the economy is improving yet?
Don't know, don't care

When was the last time you read a book?
Too long ago

Where did you get that shirt you're wearing?
Smiths street

Do you play pranks on April Fools Day?
Yea

Why are you always on my mind? I don't want you to be there.
You're the first thing I think of when I wake up of a morning.
You're on my mind all day. And when I pass you on the street, I can't help but smile.
And when we lock eyes, or you smile at me, it makes my heart pound and I feel all light and free.
I miss you when I don't see you, and yet again, you're on my mind.
You're the last thing I think before I get to sleep, and sometimes, I can't get to sleep, because I'm thinking about you.
And when I manage to get to sleep, I dream about you.

Please get off my mind. I don't want you to be there. It's not right.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck you. Fuck this. I don't give a shit anymore.

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL JONAS BROTHERS DAY BLOGGERS!
Oh, and happy birthday to my daddy!

And yeah, I know you're going to read these and then hate me for expressing my feelings, but this blog is for me to vent, write what I'm feeling and let go of my anger, and yeah, you just happen to read it. I can't help what I'm feeling. Don't get all pissed and shit at me for that.
Oh yeah, don't get angry at my harsh choice of words either. I'm quite angry, and all lovely-dovey words aren't going to come from this anger. The harshness comes with the emotions.

Stop avioding this issue! Running away isn't going to make things better!

I give up on being the one that always has to make things better. The one that always has to talk to you first to get some unsolved answers for myself. The one that always has to say sorry first.
Seriously, I give up now. I've put in too much effort into nothing and for no return.
I'm not going to put in effort, until you do, and until you show a little respect and some interest into making things better. I'm not going to put in effort until you even attempt talking to me, without me having to approach you first, or any shit like that you put me through.
So yeah. Don't expect my effort into making things better anymore. Not until you do.

I'm giving up.

Why does it feel like you're stabbing me over and over?
Why do I keep making the same mistake?
I don't know what to do anymore. I need you the most.
I need your support the most, but you're not making anything easier.

DEAREST JAMIEE VI,
Have I ever told you how much I love you?
And how much you mean to me?
I just wanted to thank you for being you. For being someone I need when I'm on the urge of a breakdown. You make me feel better. I like you, a whole lot.
Please stay with me forever?
I know that I keep reminding you, but I just had to remind you again. LOL. :)
Kthanksbye.

I hate waiting for you. I've waited long enough. I don't want to wait anymore. I need you, right now.

Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Thats how I feel. My emotions are all so different and mixed. GAH I'm so confused!

I like you, Sophie, you make me feel better.
I like being in your presence, even though you're still trying to find mine.
Oh, wait, you just found my presence now.

"I'm so sick of all this."
"Same. But I'm starting to get used to it, too."

If I'm going to be treated like this, for telling you the truth, when you asked for it, then I might aswell lie to your face then.
Things would be better if I never said anything, and if I had kept this from you, if I lied to you.

If I'm sitting here crying, because of this shit, then in future, I'm going to lie. Don't be surprised if you ever find out what I've been keeping from you.

And you said you don't care about us anymore. If you're not going to care about us anymore, then don't fucking expect us to care about you. It's a two-way street. If you don't care about us, then go find some friends who you do care about, and then they can take care of you.
They can be the ones who tell you the truth, tell you how they feel if they're insecure. They can have mascara running down their face whilst typing this. They can go through this pain. Not me, them.

And you know what? I don't fucking deserve this. I really fucking don't. I don't know where I went wrong. What did I do? Tell you how I felt? Tried to fix things before they got worse? Tell you the truth? Yeah well I've decided that I've given up all hope on you, and I'm going to lie to you now. Just a heads up.

Sophie Wong, you're my best friend. My only best friend. The only person who knows how to make me smilie. And the only person who has all of my trust. I love you with all my heart.
And it's times like this, when there's tears rolling down my face onto this keyboard, which is when I need somebody the most. And all those times, that somebody has always been you. Even if it's 4am, we still have virtual sleepovers through skype, to make me feel better. And to make me laugh with our turbans and shit.
You make me feel better. You make my worries disapear. You make me smile when I have mascara running down my face. Or when I have nothing else to be happy for. You find something to make me want to be happy. You, yourself makes me happy.
I love you. I really do. Please stay in my life forever. I can't imagine my life without you. I need you, forever.

I'm bored. I'm going to write. That's what I'll do. Writing, and exploring my imagination makes me feel better. Yes, indeed, I'll write.

Sorry, but did you say that you were the one feeling 'excluded'?
I laugh at how blinded you can be, and how ignorant you are to my feelings, oh and how you are such a hypocrit.

Haha, 'exlcuded'? Have a look at what you're doing to us. How you're excluding us.

I think, you are the most blinded hypocrite I have ever met.

Hmmm, yeah my life's pretty fucked up.

My favourite songs and lyrics by the Jonas Brothers :)

I spent the day at my grandparents, because myself and my brother had caught a cold.
This is what I did when I got bored. :)

"Wipe your mouth, there's bullshit comming out of it."

HAHAHA! My dad's a legend at inventing quotes. ;D

Don't ask me for the truth. Do not. Because you know that I'm the kind of person who's going to give it to you. No lies, no secrects.
Do not ask me for the truth, especially when you know there's a possible outcome that you will not like. A possible answer that you're going to be hurt by. The truth hurts. You should know that.
Don't ask for the truth, get hurt, and then take your anger out on me. Don't twist it to being my fault.
You caused this mess. You're going to clean it up. I'll be here for you, supporting you. But I'm not going clean it up for you. That's your job.

The only way you can fix this problem, this situation, this dilemma, is to face it head-on. You can't just run away from something like this, and pray to God that it'll just fix itself. Running away, and avioding it won't make it better, infact it'll make it worse. A whole lot worse. I know you can fight through it. You are stong. Believe it.

Trust is something that isn't thrown at you. You have to earn in. And the slightest indent can cause you to immediately loose that trust, and faith. You're not going to get it back. Not for a while.

"* ﻞамєѕяят (F) says:


*ur fake smiles work cuz i think ur the happiest girl in the world with all the gr8 mates u got...but ur blogspot says otherwise which makes james feel like :(!

Anyway. I hate you. Get it now?

I am strong. I know I am. I'm better than this.
I just have to keep reminding myself.
Everything will be okay.

I can not go on like this.

I think I should just go away. Run into the darkness. And never show my face again. Never return.
I don't like it here. I don't like the people here. Nothing that's left here is keeping me smiling. There's nothing left that's worth waking up for. There's nothing left falling asleep for, or to dream for. Nothing's working out.


I hate faking smiles. I hate faking laughs. I hate faking happiness.
Inside, I'm destroyed, I'm torn apart.
I'm so tempted to just run, as far as I can, with no intention of returning. But I simply can not. There are too many people who do love me, and are depending on me. I can't hurt them.

I can't call my house 'home' anymore. It doesn't feel like 'home'.

I don't like the person I've become.
We both don't like the people we've become.

I'm not going to run away from this. I'm going to stay strong and fight through it. And so are you.
We can either win this battle and come up winners, or get lost in the chaos and suffer in pain.
I know that we can do it. I hope you believe so too.

Oh, you don't like me? Well that's too bad.
You had your chance, you blew your chance.
Let's face it, I wasn't going to wait for you forever.
And now it's too late.

Oh, and now, I've already got other guys telling me how beautiful I am.
So yeah, stuff you. :)

I once read that a guy can easily fall for his girlfriends' best friend, apon seeking advice about his girlfriend.
... :|

And maybe; I have better, more reliable people in my life who wont break my heart.

"True love does not come by finding the perfect person,

but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."

Her face is priceless.

"I AM SICK OF THAT FUCKING WHORES FACE, I AM SICK OF HER NAGGING, IM SICK OF HER MOODS, IM SICK OF HER COMPANY AND IM SICK OF ALL THE SHIT SHE DOES TO US, MOSTLY US TWO. AND IM SICK OF PUTTING ON THAT FAKE SMILE AND PRETENDING EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT"
I completely agree.

Yes, there is a meaning behind the song currently playing, and there is a reason why I chose it for this blog. Turn up your speakers. Listen to the lyrics. I can relate reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally bad.
Everything you're not - Demi Lovato.

Dear Blog,
I'm sorry I pour my heart out to you, and force you to listen to what I say, and all my problems. But you're a good listener, and a good person to vent to. Better than quite a few people I know.
Sorry I put you through a lot of crap. Forgive me?

Emily.

I'm sorry I'm not fucking good enough for you.

I'm sorry I'm not 'pretty' enough. Or if my smile isn't good enough to make you smile. But you've given your heart to her, and when she destroys it, don't fucking say I didn't warn you. Because I fucking did. Don't expect that my shoulder will be there for you to cry on. You had your chance for all that crap.
Are you blind? I'm sure you are. Don't you see how much I long for you? And how I cringe everytime you talk about her? Don't you see what I see?
I'm sorry I'm not fucking good enough.

Oh, fuck you! I don't even know why I bother with you anymore! You just take my heart and throw it on the floor! How could you be so fucking blind?! You've ripped me to shreds. I'm just going to give up on you.

The reason why we make mistakes is so we can learn from them. Yet, you continue to make the same mistake, and never learn from it. And me? I keep making the mistake of forgiving you.

11 am, home:
Dad: "I married the wrong woman."
Emily: "... What?"
Dad: "Before we got married, we made an agreement that I took care of our childrens education, our house, jobs, and our future, and then I would be free to do whatever I wanted. And that includes getting back onto the track. And now, I have taken care of my part of the agreement, wait, I've actually given back 5 times what I agreed to, and she has kept me prisoner the whole time."
Emily: "... Look dad, if getting a divorce is what it's going to take for you to take control of your own life, me and Kev are going to support you the whole time."
Dad: ...


1:30 pm, Brighton, via text:
Emily: If mum and dad split, and we were forced to choose out of them to live with, I would choose dad.
Kevin: I couldn't decide.
Emily: Lol, because mum actually loves you, so you would love her in return.
Kevin: Yep. I love dad aswell.
Emily: Haha. Yeah. But mum treats me like dirt all the time, so thats why I would pick dad.
Kevin: True...


5:34 pm, Home:
Dad: "You know, if you and me have a divorce, and eventually that will happen if you keep treating me like crap, I'm taking the kids with me."
Mum: "Yeah, go ahead, take them."
Dad: "I'm serious... I will."
Mum: "Be my guest."
Emily: "I'd be happy to live with dad. I'd actually have some control of my own life."
Mum: "David, look at the bullshit you've put into our kids' heads. You've brainwashed them, and so have your family."
Emily: "No, mum. Dad hasn't done anything. And because of you, I havn't seen his family for around 7 years, so they definately havn't done anything. I'm being serious about what I said, and so did dad. I mean, you can't even talk to us in a fucken proper tone! You can't even go a fucking day without having a go at all of us over something! I'm a good girl, mum.  I get pretty good grades at school, and I've never gotten a suspension. Actually, I've never even got a fucking detention! I'm being forced into piano, and you know that I hate it. I'm forced into doing stupid accelerated maths this year. I have good friends, and I'm hardley ever allowed out with them. I've only said yes to half the things they invite me to, and sometimes when they ask to go out, I don't even ask you because I know you won't let me. I can't do anything without your permission. You don't treat me like a teenager, like you should! You have it so easy compared to other parents. What more do you want from me, mum?! What more can I do to make you happy?!"