Sunday, May 15
Fuck my life. I just want to talk to him, that's all. I fucking miss him; as sad as it is, I truly do.
Don't really care about how much he took advantage, and mis-treated me, or the fact that he's a complete fucking asshole who I despise, but just can not hate no matter how hard I try, I just want to know how his day was. And how he's going. Or what he's doing.
Ugh. He's an asshole. He's a jerk. A womanizer. I'm sure he couldn't care less about me - he doesn't give a shit. Lead me on the believe something I shouldn't have, and he probably has a whole string of other girls falling for the same false thing, too. And yet I'm still longing for him?
And what we had, it wasn't even much. I can't even begin to imagine what excruciating pain I'd be experiencing if we had gone deeper before something like this had happened.
I guess it just hurts most for
the reason being, I didn't mean anything to him. That, I'm sure, couldn't possibly be true. He couldn't possibly look me in the eye and swear he felt nothing.
Jesus fuck. And we all knew he would hurt me. My friends warned me. And I knew it was coming, straight from the first conversation. How could I be so stupid and let myself fall into this trap? Especially when I knew it would happen?
Maybe it's because he's completely wrong for me; maybe that's what had me curious and pulled me in. Maybe it was that sense of adventure I was seeking. I don't fucking know. But I fell. And I fell hard.
And there's nothing I want more than him.
Don't really care about how much he took advantage, and mis-treated me, or the fact that he's a complete fucking asshole who I despise, but just can not hate no matter how hard I try, I just want to know how his day was. And how he's going. Or what he's doing.
Ugh. He's an asshole. He's a jerk. A womanizer. I'm sure he couldn't care less about me - he doesn't give a shit. Lead me on the believe something I shouldn't have, and he probably has a whole string of other girls falling for the same false thing, too. And yet I'm still longing for him?
And what we had, it wasn't even much. I can't even begin to imagine what excruciating pain I'd be experiencing if we had gone deeper before something like this had happened.
I guess it just hurts most for
the reason being, I didn't mean anything to him. That, I'm sure, couldn't possibly be true. He couldn't possibly look me in the eye and swear he felt nothing.
Jesus fuck. And we all knew he would hurt me. My friends warned me. And I knew it was coming, straight from the first conversation. How could I be so stupid and let myself fall into this trap? Especially when I knew it would happen?
Maybe it's because he's completely wrong for me; maybe that's what had me curious and pulled me in. Maybe it was that sense of adventure I was seeking. I don't fucking know. But I fell. And I fell hard.
And there's nothing I want more than him.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
