Friendships are complicated, and extremely confusing. They can make you feel like you’re on top of the world, but at times; they can also make you feel like you’re drowning, sinking slowly towards the bottom of the ocean. It’s easy to form a friendship with an individual, but to earn their trust is a whole different story. And once that person has gained your trust, the slightest mistake, can cause the whole friendship to come crashing down. You could easily fall for a simple camouflage, not knowing what or how your ‘friend’ feels about you, and you may think differently about them, than what they think about you. I, myself, have many friends, though I can only trust a few, and sometimes, I shut myself down from forming friendships, scared that I may, in the end, feel crushed, and unwanted, like I have experienced in the past.
During the previous few years, ‘friendships’ have dramatically changed. They used to be so easy, so laid-back, so relaxed. Nowadays, it’s the complete opposite. It’s hard to trust a friend with what you tell them, afraid they’ll go and leak to someone else, it’s hard to completely trust someone whatsoever. I miss the old friendships.
I know that I have a ‘friend’, who causes me a tonne of heartache. I’m so confused with the mixed signals she’s sending me. One minute, she acts like she has no idea who I am, and then the next; she acts like we’re the best of friends, and I keep forgiving her, I keep giving her second chances, that she continually ruins. We USED to be like the best of friends, but something has evolved between us. I’m sick of all the negativity from her, and all the heartache she causes me, but I simply can not let go of her, I need her, and she needs me. She, like many people, has changed, and I extremely hate, I mean dislike, the new her… I miss the old her. I dread coming to school every morning, because I know I have face her negativity, and I know I will always feel pained. I mean, she doesn’t even say hi to me anymore, not even a wave, or a smile; instead, it’s always a greasy, or another negative comment. It instantly wrecks my day. Often, I also cry, my mind debating whether it would be best to cut off our friendship, or continue it how it is, but I cant cut it off anyway, because other people are involved, and that will put them through heartache too. I hope, that a miracle will happen, and we can work things out. I miss her, and what we used to be, and I still love her, and I need her.
During the previous few years, ‘friendships’ have dramatically changed. They used to be so easy, so laid-back, so relaxed. Nowadays, it’s the complete opposite. It’s hard to trust a friend with what you tell them, afraid they’ll go and leak to someone else, it’s hard to completely trust someone whatsoever. I miss the old friendships.
I know that I have a ‘friend’, who causes me a tonne of heartache. I’m so confused with the mixed signals she’s sending me. One minute, she acts like she has no idea who I am, and then the next; she acts like we’re the best of friends, and I keep forgiving her, I keep giving her second chances, that she continually ruins. We USED to be like the best of friends, but something has evolved between us. I’m sick of all the negativity from her, and all the heartache she causes me, but I simply can not let go of her, I need her, and she needs me. She, like many people, has changed, and I extremely hate, I mean dislike, the new her… I miss the old her. I dread coming to school every morning, because I know I have face her negativity, and I know I will always feel pained. I mean, she doesn’t even say hi to me anymore, not even a wave, or a smile; instead, it’s always a greasy, or another negative comment. It instantly wrecks my day. Often, I also cry, my mind debating whether it would be best to cut off our friendship, or continue it how it is, but I cant cut it off anyway, because other people are involved, and that will put them through heartache too. I hope, that a miracle will happen, and we can work things out. I miss her, and what we used to be, and I still love her, and I need her.
wow.
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