Yeah, I'll forgive, but I won't forget.

Nicholas Jonas ♥

Hehe, I can't stop smilling, it's actually kinda creepy.

Hi Bloggers.

Meet my new fringe.

Let me know what you think.

Whoops! I havn't updated my Nick Jonas Fanfic in too long... I better start writing soon, I've promised too many people that I'll get the next chapter done, and all my readers keep telling me to update.

New Goal: Get the next chapter done by Saturday.

Sorry if my blog looks a little stuffed up, or doesn't make sense further down. I got this new template thinggy and it doesn't show the post title.

"She's a life ruiner! She ruins peoples lives!" -Janice Ian.
Haha, I can always get a good laugh out of Mean Girls.

It's great to know that one person actually cares.

I don't wanna fall asleep,
Don't know if I'll get up,
Don't wanna cause a scene,
But I'm dieing without your love.
Begging to hear your voice,
Tell me you love me too,
Cause I'd rather just be alone,
If I know that I can't have you.

Can't Have You - Jonas Brothers

HAHA! Jamiee Vi is like my mother, only better. :P
Dont worry, she gets it.

Hmm, so my parents don't make me feel good anymore, and they don't appreciate me anymore, my mother said herself that she did not want me anymore. And the ones whom I thought loved me, are causing my tears. And the one person who keeps me smiling, is kept smiling by somebody else. What am I supposed to do, when the ones who hold me up, aren't there anymore? Excuse me, I think I'll go die now, since nobody seems to be wanting me to continue breathing.

I'm stuck. I don't know what to do. I need your help.

I'm proud to announce, that my hair's grown! :D Look look look!:  And I thought I'd throw in those pictures of Pocky, just because it tastes super dooper yummy.  

Yay, I actually re-did my blog :D

It looks better now :)

Thank-you, Caitlin, for your help.

I think that

My blog needs a make-over.
...I cbf atm. :)

Oh Kim,

Oh Kim, How I love you.

You make me feel better, raise me up, and put a smile on my face.

And, you're a pretty awesome drawer. :D

Click on it to get a better view, and to actually see the writing.

For those who still can not read, it says:

"The couple that fights the most, are the ones that most love. It shows that they care to notice the others screw ups, and care enough to mention it to the other person, so they can fix it. When you stop fighting, you stop caring."

FUCK THIS.

ALL MY FUCKING EFFORT IS PUT TO WASTE.
...One day, I'm going to give up.

Bordem.

I was bored, and there was a camera.

This is the outcome...

Dear another amazing person,

I love you so much, just like the person in the below blog. You've been my friend for what, 10 years now? Since kindergarten, cause we're so cool. And all those 10 years, you've stood by my side, and you know my wholeeee dirty history ;)
Hehe, I love you!

Dear Amazing Person, ♥

I fucken love you so much, it's unbelieveable. You're an amazing person. You make me feel better. You hold me up when I can't stand up tall. You mend the tear in my heart, and you dry my tears. You laugh with me, cry with me, and share many of my most treasured memories. You know me better than myself, and you know all of my worries, thoughts, opinions, etc. You know everything that I swore to myself I wouldn't expose, and you completely have all of my trust. You laugh at me, with me, and make me smile when I can not any longer. I know that did not make sense, but you know what I mean, because I can telepethicly send you messages. And to have you here tonight, keeping me strong, keeping me from pooring my emotions out in liquid form,... I really do not know where I'd be without you. You have given me so much, more than I deserve, and I'm finding it difficult to give back even half. But I'm trying.
Dear amazing person, I love you. ♥

YAHOOO. I fixed it!

My blog is stuffed up :|

Baby elephants are, by far, the most bestest, adorablest, cutest animals on this planet.♥
I want one.

Today, I am spending the whole day with Sophie. It's going to be a good day.

I hope you realise

That this stupid smile is fictional.

I want to run,

And escape this pain. I want to just disappear into darkness. And never to come back... But I can't, I don't want to take the short-cut, the easy way. I'm crushed. And I'm hurt. And I want to blame you, but it isn't your fault. I hope you'll attempt to understand what I'm feeling, and forgive me if I act different towards you. But this rough patch, it'll go away, hopefully soon, and everything will go back to the way it was. I can't help it if I'm feeling some sort of hatred towards you, and I hope you understand, but yet again, it isn't your fault, you're only involved in this stupid situation. I'm sorry, if I hurt you in anyway, but it's only because I'm angry, and hurt. I hope you understand.

I still have hope.

That's a good sign, right?

...
But yeah, I'm still crushed.

I need to stop.

If I keep thinking this way, this negative, I'm going to start believing the crap that's forming in my head.
It's going to swallow me up.

Holidays!

Finally, some time to figure this shit out.

You're Cool (H)

"How did you know it was him?"
"I saw the way you look at him today... and how he looks at her. That's gonna change. He's gonna start liking you soon, some how, he will."

I've never thought, that out of all people, despite our differences, and our past, I would be pouring my heart out to you, in complete trust and honesty. I also think that you're amazing, to trust me too, with what you've told me, without any hesitation. To sum it all up, I think that you're pretty awesome. :)

Enjoy my face!

I was testing the lighting in different areas of my house. :D

Why aren't I good enough for you?

I think that

I should go creep up into a little hole and die. That would be best for everyone, including you.

And you wouldn't even notice my disappearence, would you?
No, I don't think so.

Yep, I think I'll go die in a hole.

Meh,

I guess I'm glad that you now know.
I guess you knowing is better than myself being a bitch to you, and you are completely clueless as to why.

I'm glad you still love me though.

It's funny,

how when everything seems to be going fine great, and then all the good stuff seem to turn on you all at the same time.
Traitors!

AHHHHHHHHHHH!

I'm in the most weirdest mood. D:

I feel crushed.
I'm beginning to think that I shouldn't have said anything. Not just within the last 10 minutes, but from the start. I feel like an idiot.

I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you.

I wish I could be perfect.
But if you're not going to love me the way I am, then why am I still putting in the effort?

Stop pushing me away,

It hurts.
It pains me to know that you do not love me, the way I love you.

When You Look Me in the Eyes. - Jonas Brothers.

If the heart is always searchin',
Can you ever find a home?
I've been lookin' for that someone,
I'll never make it on my own.
Dreams can't take the place of loving you,
There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's all right,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.

How long will I be waiting,
To be with you again.
I'm gonna tell you that I love you,
In the best way that I can.
I can't take a day without you here,
You're the light that makes my darkness disappear.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's all right,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.

More and more, I start to realise,
I can reach my tomorrow,
I can hold my head up high,
And it's all because you're by my side.

When you look me in the eye,
And tell me that you love me,
Everything's all right.
When you're right here by my side.
When I hold you in my arms,
I know that it's forever,
I just gotta let you know,
I never would let you go.

Because when you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's all right,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.

Bordem + Obsession + Faceinhole.com =

Nick Jonassssssss (H)

Dear ___,

How I wish I could do something. I feel horrible, standing back and watching you in pain. And all I can do is give supportive words and make you smile. But, no matter what I do, I can never give you the true happiness that he did. Oh, how I want to make you happy, how I want to make you smile, and how I want to make you laugh like the way he did; exactly like what I had witnessed when I first met you. It hurts to see you in pain. You do not deserve this. Not at all. And I just wanted you to know that I am going to hold you up when you fall. I am going to pull you through this.
I love you.

I hate standing in your shadow.

It's my turn to shine.

Dear You,

Yes, litterally you. The person who's currently reading these words.
Sorry if the 2 blogs under this one, make no sense at all.
They're for me, and only me. To vent. (:
And yeah, if you couldn't already tell, I was extremely tired, and Jamiee made me blog.

Pfft.

So yeah, one night I was just thinking, and it came across my mind that we've slowly drifted apart, since 'other people' have been involved. I miss you.
And why are you so important? Since when? Yeah, last time I checked, there was just you, and me, and no body else. We were inseperable.
Since when did people start choosing between us? And since when were you so 'popular'?

Meh, I don't really mind it. Just don't get caught up in all the drama, and everything will be fine. (:

Venting time!

Meh, so there's this person. Yeah, I like them, I have for a while, I still do, and I always will. But over the years, ever since this 'growing up' thing has started, I've slowly grown to envy them.
Wait, no, that's not right. Correction: I've started to extremely hate, how others seem to judge indiviuals, simply by their physical appearence.
For example; Nice face, and BAM!, instantly you're a hit. Everybody wants to know you, and everyone else seems to be nicer to you, than to those who aren't as physically attractive as you. Everybody seems to like you, more than anyone else.


Pfft. It annoys me so bad.


And I wonder if those 'attractive faced' individuals, know that others only 'like' them, because they're 'pretty' or 'hot'.


Luckily, I don't have that problem.

Dear John

Is an amazing movie! Just got back from watching it with the girls. (:
Oh, and some German Kids too! :D

Anyway, the neighbours are currently blasting When You Look Me in the Eyes, by the Jonas Brothers. That just made my day.
Finally, they decide to play music that I actually like. (:

yeah, it pisses me off.

"you're honestly beautiful, inside and out."
"thanks, but not really..."
-.-

Gosh, I hate it when people deniy the things like that. They know that they're beautiful, but yet, they tend to like pretending that they aren't. They don't appreciate that there are others out there, envying them, who find it amazing how one individual can posess such natural beauty. I don't understand how they can be so blind. I really don't.

Late Night Vent...

What is wrong with me? I feel as if I have become someone different. Someone entirely new. A Stranger.
I'm begining to wonder whether I should really trust the people that I do. I mean, trust isn't something that is thrown at you; you have to earn it. And I'm begining to loose faith, in some of the very few, who have earnt my trust.
I don't know who my real friends are anymore, And I'm continously causing fights, and holding grudges against those I love most. Causing heart ache not only to them, but to myself. I'm slowly destroying myself.
I can not keep up the fake smiles for much longer.

And what about those who I've learnt to trust recently? I've eagerly thrown my trust out to them, forgetting about those who have stood by my side for years. I barely know some of them, and yet, I find myself pouring my heart out to them. What am I doing? What is wrong with me? I honestly do not like myself anymore. What have I become?

Why is it, that I am able to expose myself to a complete stranger, and yet, find it so difficult to do the same thing to somebody I've learnt to love?
Is it because, I feel less judged around somebody, who does not know my history? And because I'm scared of the truth, from those who aren't afraid to share it?

Dear You,

I tell you these things in trust. And I don't expect you to loose all memory, after 2 days, of what I find extremely hard expose.

Kim Ly (L)

The 'k' is next to the 'l' on the keyboard, okay? :P

LOL, Kim Ly, I love you.

Insecurities

Is it ususual to still feel insecure around the ones whom you trust the most? Like you can not trust them, and they can not trust you? Is it normal to feel unloved, by whom you thought loved you the most?
Is it right to feel as if you can trust the ones whom you have just met? Befriend them, and become as close as family, within 3 weeks? Is it correct to have complete trust and faith in each other, knowing that nothing that is shared will leave the situation? And nothing, and no one, would be told of what is said amongst the two of you.
I certainly hope this confusion is normal.

Woo!

Blog Number 100!

failblog.org

LOL. Well, some of them aren't that funny, but they made me smile.

Dear Somebody,

I miss you, I really do, but I feel like all my effort is pointless.

Stupid Me

What am I thinking? I swore to myself I wouldn't make this mistake, and yet I find myself stuck in this muddle.

Meh, I'm enjoying it. :)

Anyway, remember that kid that I wrote about before? The one that makes me smile? Well, I make him smile too. :D

Everyone has an inner-nerd. :)

My natural hair looked okay. :)

My glasses broke D:

Well,

There's this kid, and he makes me smile.
 I think I like him..
Meh, it's only been a few days. See how things go. :)

ahhh :S

...
Thats all I wanted to write. :D

Oh,

Did I ever mention that I'm like super sensitive? I thought you would have gathered that by now. I'm fragile, not somebody that you can easily play around with their feelings.


...
But this is an exception, because it is quite funny. :P

Everyone,

Meet my new Samsung B3410.

Goodbye, my good, old, Palm Centro... I'll miss you dearly.

Today was a great day,

Well, half a day; after I escaped the awkwardness around my grandmother.

Sophie makes me feel so much more better. We went to melbourne central via train, and it was an awesome 3 hours. I got this cool as sleveless-denim-jacket thinggy, of course from valleygirl, it's really nice and goes well with a lot of my dresses. And we went to this weird shop, which had everything for 50% off! It was awesome. I got this necklace with an elephant pendent, and a nice bracelet for only 8 bucks. And we each got these retarded, ugly, funny looking, rings that we're ment to be 10cents, but the guy gave it to us for free. :D

Only bummber about today, I was supposed to get a new phone, but stupid crazy johns we're going to close in 30 minutes, and it wasn't 'enough time', or something like that. :|
Oh well, I have tommorow off, so me and dad are going to get it in the morning. Yaaay. :D

Simon's blog,

makes me smile.

http://blogofrainbows.blogspot.com/
Read it for a laugh.

Tells you a lot about our relationship...

So my grandmothers up, and it's the first time that I've seen her in 6 months... And yet, I'm on this stupid laptop blogging about it. I have nothing to say to her; I don't know what to say to her. Not only am I on this laptop, blogging, I'm also planning the day out with my cousin, from the other side of the family, to go to Melbourne Central as soon as she's left.
Hmm, tells you a lot about the relationships, I have with the different sides of my family...

No matter how hard we all try, even if we go back, I am never going to consider these strangers as 'family'. Enough damage has been done.

i like it.

I thought it was cute...

"You know your in love when you can't fall asleep, because reality is finally better than your dreams."

...
Too bad I can still fall asleep.

SHIEEEET!

It's hailing!
There's holes in the roof of my veranda!
And it was boiling like half an hour before.
...
wait, I live in Melbourne, should've seen it comming.

We've changed to...

The gayest version of paper, scissors, rock, EVER.

...

And

She just won a game.

1-1. This is getting very serious!

titleless

Playing tic tac toe with Jamiee Vi at 11:32 pm is pretty awesome!
I'm currently winning; 1-0 and we've played 4 games. Haha.


...

Ps. I only wrote this because she wanted me to blog, and this counts, right?

bordem sucks.

Enjoy my face.

 

...

Why aren't I good enough for you?