What is wrong with me? I feel as if I have become someone different. Someone entirely new. A Stranger.
I'm begining to wonder whether I should really trust the people that I do. I mean, trust isn't something that is thrown at you; you have to earn it. And I'm begining to loose faith, in some of the very few, who have earnt my trust.
I don't know who my real friends are anymore, And I'm continously causing fights, and holding grudges against those I love most. Causing heart ache not only to them, but to myself. I'm slowly destroying myself.
I can not keep up the fake smiles for much longer.
And what about those who I've learnt to trust recently? I've eagerly thrown my trust out to them, forgetting about those who have stood by my side for years. I barely know some of them, and yet, I find myself pouring my heart out to them. What am I doing? What is wrong with me? I honestly do not like myself anymore. What have I become?
Why is it, that I am able to expose myself to a complete stranger, and yet, find it so difficult to do the same thing to somebody I've learnt to love?
Is it because, I feel less judged around somebody, who does not know my history? And because I'm scared of the truth, from those who aren't afraid to share it?
About Me
- Emily
- Hi, I'm Emily. And to you, I'm just an average teenage kid. I easily envy others, and I often take things for granted. It seems as if I always take, & never give, and I always see things for the negative. I am too honest, and should learn to take my own advice. I hide my feelings a lot; and I often camoflage myself with a simple smile. I laugh at almost every little thing, and I'm too observant. I want the things that I know I can't have, and my dreams are way out of my reach, but I still have hope. I would like to consider myself mostly happy, but that would be a lie. I guess that's why I have this blog thing.
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