12:46 a.m. later that night.

I'm sitting here, tears falling from my eyes, down my face, and dropping onto this key board. My hands black, mascara and eyeliner smeared all over them, proof of my useless attempt to make this pain go away.
Why is this? Because a real friend questioned me about the previous blog. She's my best friend, and so are you, but for some reason I still had trouble explaining to her that it was you, that I was writing about. And I don't know why.

This great deal of pain your causing me, it rips my heart out. Why do you have to hurt me so much? How can you take no notice of my pain? I'm supposed to call you my friend. Honestly, I don't know if I can go on like this much longer. I don't know if I'll be able to name you such a thing. It hurts to think of you as a friend anymore. You are a stranger to me.

In one way or another, you always seem to puncture a hole through my heart. Your presence makes me feel unwanted. You kick me, whilst I'm already down. It hurts. It really does.

And if you would take any interest in what I do, what this 'blog' I constantly tell you to read, but you constantly reject, maybe you would know how/what I'm feeling?

But thank you, real friend, for causing these tears. I needed to let them out. I needed to let these words out. Thankyou, real friend, for being you. For being so persistant, so supportive. I really needed you tonight. Thankyou.