Dear You,

I don't know if you'll read this, I'm sure that you probably won't, but I guess this is more for me, than for you. But I think it would be good for you to know how I feel.

Looking over last night hurts me. Every punch line we threw at each other wasn't helping the situation we've gotten ourselves into. It hurts how we can't even talk about this. We were both stuck for words, when we both wanted this moment to happen for a long time. We both wanted to talk about this, not fight, and when we finally got the chance, it just did not work for us.

I was in tears, all night. I've been in tears the whole time. I've felt as if my heart has been ripped out of my chest.

I hurt when I think of you. It pains me when I think about what we used to be. How all of that unravelled. It used to be so easy for us. And I know we're both going to try to make this work, though we both know that it probably will never be the same.
But, the thing is, I don't know if I want it to go back to the way it was. I can see what's going to happen, again. I've constantly forgiven you, I've given you too many second chances, that you've continually messed up. Which has led up to this massive war zone. Eventually, I would have had enough of this crap, you should've seen it comming. You should have known I was going to give up on you one day.

But what really shits me, is that you didn't even notice the pain you were causing. How could you be so ignorant? And I'm supposed to call you my friend. It hurts me, it really does.

I don't want you to take this the wrong way. I still need you, and I can not let go of you. I just want you to understand what I'm feeling. I miss you. I miss us. I need you, and I'm longing for us.